Glen Sonmor, 78, will enjoy the holiday season but has something to look forward to next month that is also going to bring a lot of happiness. On January 18 the former Minnesota North Stars and Gophers coach will celebrate 25 years of sobriety.
During the next several days Sonmor is in Toronto with his sister Jean and her family to celebrate Christmas. Years ago Christmas was an awful time for Sonmor whose alcoholism made the holiday miserable for himself and family.
“You know, I have some bizarre (Christmas) memories,” Sonmor told Sports Headliners. “I don’t even like to talk about them much. We would make things difficult at Christmas by not showing up, by not being involved with the people we needed to be involved with.
“So now I’ve had a lot of very, very pleasant and wonderful Christmases. It’s again another time that just makes me so grateful for the fact that I have been one of those that was shown the way out. …”
Alcoholism has been part of his family, including for his now deceased father. A mentor with Alcoholics Anonymous told Glen that most alcoholics never attend a meeting, never receive help. That’s a regret that Sonmor has about his father who didn’t become a recovering alcoholic.
Sonmor’s daughter, Kate, is a recovering alcoholic. For that he feels joy and gratitude, different emotions than the guilt and shame he experienced during his years of alcoholism. Among his painful memories was being arrested for drunk driving in 1970 when Kate was a teenager. Sonmor, then the Gopher coach, saw news of his arrest in the newspapers and it was a difficult time for those who cared about him.
Sonmor said going beyond the guilt and shame is a vital part of recovery. Sonmor had a mentor who used to hold up a sign in front of him that said, “Not guilty.”
Some of Sonmor’s AA brethren will help celebrate his anniversary next month with a party but it will probably be on January 22, not January 18. He said part of the AA discipline is for the individual to go beyond the anniversary date before there is a celebration.
Anniversaries are important for recovering alcoholics, and not just for those who have been part of the AA fellowship for many years. “It’s a good sign for the newcomers coming in that people do get sober and stay sober,” Sonmor said. “And guys remain committed to the program. …”
A lot more about Sonmor’s struggle with alcoholism and his hockey life is told in a new book, Old Time Hockey, Memories and Musings of a Lifetime on Ice. It is written by local author Ross Bernstein. His Web site is www.bernsteinbooks.com.
Sonmor said he wanted to collaborate with Bernstein on the book to tell his story that includes so much Minnesota hockey history with his experiences as a player and coach. A heartfelt motivation was to tell his story of recovery and the joy he’s found in life without alcohol. He hopes people struggling with alcoholism will read his story and find a new life. Christmas is a good time to start.