Author: David Shama

In today’s Sports Headliners I play “good cop” and “bad cop.”  Translation: with no assistance from David Letterman, I bring you the top 10 reasons why the Vikings will not only go to the Super Bowl but also win the Big Game.  And (also without the assistance of the CBS talk show host) I offer the top 10 reasons the Vikings won’t advance to the S.B.

Top 10 reasons the Purple will earn their way to the Super Bowl and win the game are:

10. Quarterback Brett Favre has paranormal powers.

9.  For every game this season and during the playoffs the Vikings fantasize they’re playing against the enemy to the east, that band of no good characters based in Green Bay. 

8.  Adrian Peterson will recover all of his fumbles, several after long gains and a few for touchdowns.

7. Although he isn’t a favorite in Vikings Nation, coach Brad Childress has improved his record and playoff march every season since coming here in 2006.

6. The numerology for the road to the Super Bowl and then a conquest sets up perfectly: 50^th season for the franchise, Favre is 40 years old and Sid Hartman is 90.

5.  The Super Bowl win clinches new stadium legislation with even arch enemies of the new venue casting votes using purple pens.

4.  Former coach Bud Grant inspires the lads in the locker room before the Super Bowl with his hunting and fishing stories.

3.  This fall Vikings players avoid boat excursions on Lake Minnetonka, showing the discipline needed to win the Big Game next year.

2. Sports Illustrated pro football soothsayer Peter King picks against the Vikings all season and also in the playoffs as the Purple make him pay for his prediction that the Packers and Steelers will play in the Super Bowl.

1. Vikings Nation warms to quarterback Tarvaris Jackson who while filling in for the injured Favre throws a last minute winning pass in the Super Bowl.  Purple fans then start a quarterback controversy over whether Jackson or Favre should be the starter in 2011.

Sorry to type these top 10 reasons why the Vikings won’t make it to the Super Bowl but here they are:

10. The Vikings lost Super Bowl games in 1970, 1974, 1975 and 1977.  They haven’t been back to the Big Game in over 30 years.  Why return and risk losing again?

9. Trot out the films of Brett Favre’s 2009 season.  How can he improve on perfection?

8. At a post-season defining moment, the Vikings are caught with 13 men on the field.  Thankfully it only happens once during the playoffs.

7. The Packers beat the Vikings twice during the regular season, and then do it again in the playoffs.

6. Adrian Peterson leads the NFL in rushing…and fumbles.

5. Cris Carter has to come out of retirement to bolster the depleted wide receiver corps that is missing Sidney Rice and Percy Harvin for most of the season.

4. In the most certain sign of the 2012 apocalypse yet, the Vikings, Bears…and Lions all finish with 8-8 records, while Packer fans dance in the streets of Green Bay after their club comes up with a 14-2 record.

3. Zygmunt Wilf and the other Vikings owners ink a stadium deal with Los Angeles wheeler dealers on Halloween.  The news spooks the Vikings players and fans for the remainder of the season.

2. The Vikes shoot blanks during their brutal October schedule, losing to the Jets, Cowboys, Packers and Patriots.  Big Game dream looks dreary even before the first snowstorm.

1. Down in Bayou Country those Saints fans are still using voodoo dolls on the Vikings.  They stick holes in the Purple’s season.

“Favre on the ground” is likely to be the phrase heard from Saints fans tomorrow night at the Superdome, according to the New Orleans Times-Picayune.  While acknowledging the fans want to see the Vikings quarterback bruised similar to what the Saints did to him in last January’s NFC title game, the newspaper’s Web story yesterday focused on New Orleans stopping Peterson.

“You can’t play the Vikings with Adrian Peterson and not be ready for a physical game,” Saints defensive tackle Sedrick Ellis said in the story. “I remember the last time we played him, we were all bruised up.  We had everybody in here with ice packs on.  But it was a great game, and nobody really backed down until the very end when (Saints cornerback Tracy Porter) got that interception.  So I expect that same thing.” https://www.nola.com/saints/index.ssf/2010/09/post_172.html

In Sports Illustrated’s NFL preview the magazine predicts the Vikings will finish 10-6, while Green Bay wins the NFC North with an 11-5 record.  The Packers will then advance to the Super Bowl where they will lose to the Steelers.  The publication forecasts that the defending Super Bowl champion Saints will have a 12-4 regular season record and lose to the Packers in the NFC title game.

Middle Tennessee State, the school Minnesota defeated in its opening game last Thursday night in Murfreesboro, won’t play the Gophers in TCF Bank Stadium until September 16, 2017.

North Dakota State defeated Kansas 6-3 last Saturday night in Lawrence.  NDSU, a program that defeated the Gophers in 2007 and lost 10-9 to Minnesota in 2006, will play at TCF Bank Stadium on September 24 of next year.

Gopher football coach Tim Brewster talking about junior running back Duane Bennett whose physical performance against Middle Tennessee State resulted in 187 yards:  “There’s nobody more committed to our strength program than Duane Bennett.”

Highly anticipated freshman running back Lamonte Edwards is down on the depth chart but he is the scout team player of the week for his efforts in helping the Gophers prepare for Middle Tennessee State.

Brewster said no lineup changes are planned for Saturday’s home game with South Dakota.  Safety Kyle Theret and offensive tackle Dom Alford remain indefinitely suspended.

Smart moves: Twins general manager Bill Smith has acquired late season relief pitching help via waivers from National League teams during the last two years. The advantage of those acquisitions is that American League hitters aren’t too familiar with such pitchers because they have been in the other league.  Relievers Jon Rauch and Randy Flores came off waivers from NL teams, while earlier this summer the Twins traded for former National Leaguer Matt Capps.

It wouldn’t be surprising if the Twins trade left fielder Delmon Young during the off -season for a quality starting pitcher.  His best hitting season yet with the Twins makes him more marketable, but outfield play remains a problem.  A future outfield with some combination of Denard Span, Jason Kubel, Michael Cuddyer and rookie Ben Revere looks possible.

No one will blame Joe Mauer if he can’t wait to play the Royals in Kansas City September 27-29.  The Twins catcher is hitting over .525 this season against the Royals.  He has 17 RBI in 14 games versus Kansas City.

The Swarm opens its 2011 National Lacrosse League schedule at Xcel Energy Center on January 8 against Rochester.  The Swarm is promoting a season ticket offer of buy two tickets at full price and two more at 50 percent off.  www.mnswarm.com.