Up here in the Bold North, when it comes to Thanksgiving, we’re a step ahead of the nation. Yes, we too gorge on turkey and watching football on television. But we’re unique because Minnesota is the top turkey producing state and…we’ve got Patrick Reusse’s Turkey of the Year column entertaining us every Thanksgiving.
The veteran scribe has been serving up a Turkey of the Year since 1978 when he was opining for the Pioneer Press. Since 1988 he has been bestowing the dubious honor as a favorite columnist for the Star Tribune.
I’ll guarantee there are throngs of Minnesotans who have been gossiping for days now in anticipation of who will be Reusse’s 2024 selection. An early favorite could be Joe Pohlad from the Twins. Joe’s grandfather, the late Carl Pohlad, is the only two-time winner on Reusse’s turkey list.
I sat next to the Turkey selection committee chair last month at a Timberwolves game. Reusse didn’t let out any clues about this year, retaining the policy of clandestine operations that keeps us on edge leading up to Thanksgiving morning. We conversed on various subjects, and he dazzled (as usual) with his recall about the local sports landscape.
It occurred to me awhile ago that there could be another annual award that Minnesotans might eagerly devour during Thanksgiving week.
So, let’s be honest.
The Turkey of the Year is someone, or some organization, that has screwed up. Here at Sports Headliners we’ve decided to go in a different direction.
I am pleased to announce the annual Sports Headliners Ducky Award. This honor will be bestowed on a Minnesota sports figure who is doing “just ducky.” To be considered by the Ducky committee this person has to be going through a delightful period in his or her career. The highest criteria will be someone we can look at and declare that life is pretty peachy keen.
The committee consists only of positive thinking devotees. We begin each meeting by reading out loud several paragraphs from a Norman Vincent Peale or Dale Carnegie classic. At one meeting the chairman (yours truly) went to the blackboard and drew up John Wooden’s Pyramid of Success. Committee homework assignments include listening to Tony Robbins talks and reading Harvey Mackay books.
Our research to determine the winner of the Ducky Award has been arduous but the chairman insists on a certain amount of frivolity. We laughed our way through the Marx brother’s movie Duck Soup, and younger committee members were astonished to see a film in black and white. Bedlam prevailed for a few moments until order was restored.
To keep things loose at the meetings I may offer a Dick Jonckowski joke. Here’s one:
A teacher asked where Jesus was born.
A student raised his hand and said, “Philly.”
Nope, said the teacher.
The same student then guessed “Pittsburgh.”
No, said the teacher who then told the class it was Bethlehem where Jesus was born.
The persistent student replied: “I knew it was in Pennsylvania.”
The duck tasting part of our meetings has been another committee pleaser. Our mouths have been watering from a steady diet of Duck a l’orange, classic Duck confit and smoked Duck breasts. At this Friday’s banquet feast honoring the award winner we’re serving Peking Duck and advising members to wear XXL gear.
On Monday we settled on the finalists and then chose the winner. The committee debated about issuing a news release to the media, but the chair insisted the world should first learn about the finalists and winner via Sports Headliners. (As I type this, I see Lester Holt’s name coming up on my phone. I am certain he wants to go national with the Ducky news as the lead story tonight on NBC).
No way.
So, the finalists are…
Karl-Anthony Towns. We liked to pile on KAT when he played for the Timberwolves. Critics howled about his silly fouls, carping at the officials and lack of production in playoff games. After nine seasons in the Mini Apple, KAT is purring in the Big Apple with the Knicks where he is averaging 26.3 points and 12.6 points per game. He is playing at an All-NBA level, and no doubt is a Spike Lee favorite at Madison Square Garden. The Wolves are struggling on defense and miss the 7-footer’s presence on both ends of the court. Things are pretty ducky for the New Jersey born KAT.
Kirill Kaprizov. The 27-year-old superstar forward is No. 1 in the hearts of Wild fans and No. 2 in the NHL in points scored this fall with 34. His 13 goals trail only five other NHL players. The 2021 NHL Rookie of the Year has been a fan favorite from the beginning, including his first game when he became the first player in league history to score three points in his debut. Things are ducky with the team, too. The Wild, 13-4-4, has surprised the skeptics who before the season considered Minnesota to be on the bubble for the playoffs.
Bob Motzko. When a coach tells the public he has a darn good team it’s usually not bluster. Minnesota men’s hockey coach Bob Motzko doesn’t deal in hype, so best to take him at his word that the Gophers are deep and talented. He is in his seventh season at Minnesota after leading the St. Cloud State program for 13. A national championship has so far eluded Motzko with results that include Minnesota’s painful overtime loss to Quinnipiac in the 2023 Frozen Four title game. The Gophers are off to a 12-2 overall start, 6-0 in the Big Ten. Ranked among the best teams in the nation, the feeling here is Motzko and the Gophers are overdue for an NCAA crown. If they do that in the spring, Motzko will be positioned to win the 2025 Ducky.
Gable Steveson. The NCAA and Olympic wrestling champion announced earlier this month he will use a final season of eligibility to again compete for the Golden Gophers. “First I would like to thank the University of Minnesota for their time, their effort and their persistence with me to push me to the man I am today,” the Minnesota native said in his comeback video. “Minnesota has given me everything, and now it’s my turn to give it right back to them: to put my feet back on the wrestling mat, to be the champ, one more time.”
With Steveson’s debut last Friday and Sunday (he scored dominant wins over his heavyweight foes), the Gophers earned their first consecutive team shutouts since 1997-1998 with victories over North Dakota State and Campbell. It could be a peachy season on the mat for Steveson and the undefeated Gophers.
And the winner is.
Kevin O’Connell. Smiling KOC embodies what the Ducky Award is all about. Great disposition. Good results. Wouldn’t surprise our researchers if KOC was in those Gerber baby commercials years ago, with his face beaming into the camera and on the jar. In his third season as Vikings head coach, O’Connell has made a national reputation for creating a much-praised working environment for his players. They laud his leadership and support while also noting the boss enforces accountability.
In O’Connell’s first season as coach the surprising 13-4 Vikings reflected the poise of their new leader. They were an amazing 11-4 in one score victories, an NFL record. The Vikings are 9-2 this season, again surprising forecasters who had them winning around six games.
And things remain calm in Skol Country. As recently as Sunday Minnesota went into overtime in Chicago but defeated the Bears 30-27. A smilin’ KOC watched from the sidelines.
So that’s it, folks. The banquet will be at Hurley’s Hanging Gardens up Nordeastway. It’s sold out. BTW, if the Gophers surprise and beat Wisconsin earlier in the day on Friday, the duck feast will make way for Badger stew.
How ducky would that be?
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