Confessions, experiences, and opinions about Thanksgiving and Turkey Week:

Love this tweet found on Twitter: “Only days remain” to break up with your girl friend, or else ride out Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, Valentine’s Day and black history month.

Too much sports on TV during Thanksgiving Day. Let’s go back to when the Detroit Lions game was our only option, and maybe the telecast should be in black and white. In the old days people actually ate together and shared lengthy conversation.

Quoting the website Humormatters.com: “Thanksgiving is a traditional American holiday where families all over the United States sit for dinner at the same time — halftime.”

Check out NASA’s tweet about what the astronauts on the Space Station will be eating for Thanksgiving. I have a hunch you would rather be at grandma’s house.

God bless my mom who once plugged up the kitchen sink while preparing Thanksgiving dinner, called a plumber and then invited him to join us at the table

Never carve the turkey in front of a crowd unless you can look good doing it. Turkey tip: cut the bird in the kitchen, not at the dining room table.

And NEVER tell your wife the turkey is dry.

With temps forecast for about 50 on Thursday, call your friends and relatives in warm climates to tell them the weather is balmy in Minnesota.

Only a politician would pardon a turkey.

Six-Legged Turkey Ranks High on Wish List

Would love to feast with John Madden on Thanksgiving and enjoy his famous six-legged turkey. Other interesting Thanksgiving partners could include Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian. I wonder if they would offer to bring anything?

A married couple was asked at a Thanksgiving gathering what the secret is to being married for more than 60 years. “Going out to dinner once per week,” the man answered. “My wife goes out on Tuesday night ─ and I go out on Friday.”

Don’t leave a turkey stuffed with dressing on the front porch overnight because the refrigerator is full. The digestive systems of your guests will be thankful.

I wonder if the Occupy Wall Street crowd will be expecting a taxpayer-delivered hot meal on Thanksgiving?

You know it was a bad Thanksgiving when Patrick Reusse’s Turkey of the Year column was the highlight. Always entertaining and sometimes infuriating, the Star Tribune columnist’s annual dig at local sports figures should be a good sideshow to your day, not the main event.

The smart money might be on Reusse choosing Joe Mauer ─ the mostly injured and well compensated local hero ─ as his 2011 Turkey of the Year. In this market, though, we always have a plethora of “qualified” candidates.

TV commercials for retailers almost have me convinced Christmas now comes before Thanksgiving. I can’t imagine a crueler fate than shopping long before dawn on Black Friday.

The Gophers basketball team plays DePaul in Orlando on Thanksgiving as part of the Old Spice Classic. Last time Minnesota was in the tournament ESPN’s Jimmy Dykes told us maybe we should have lower expectations for the program.

Theater Role Began with Miles Standish

My theater career began and ended in my role as Miles Standish in a grade school Thanksgiving production about the Pilgrims. Broadway and Hollywood producers are grateful

Hope former Timberwolves forward Latrell Sprewell, who often complained about his salary, “can feed his family” on Thanksgiving.

When I was a kid we often had about 12 relatives at our Thanksgiving dinner table. It never took long — usually before dinner — for my dad to start arguing about politics with someone. Didn’t matter which side of the argument my dad might have been on the time before, he was ready to take the opposite view.

I am sure this is another Thanksgiving of gratitude for Gophers coach Jerry Kill who has lived with cancer and seizures while coaching football and finding time to help others.

Do you recall that the Gophers played a Thanksgiving Day game against Wisconsin on November 28, 1963? The game had been postponed from the previous Saturday because of President John Kennedy’s assassination.

The Vikings have a 5-1 record in Thanksgiving games. The most recent was 2000, a 27-15 win over Dallas.

Did you know Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade began in 1924? If you missed the first, watch Thursday on NBC starting at 8 a.m. Central Time.

Thanksgiving can include self-assessment of what we do to help others. My late uncle John devoted much of his retirement to working for Meals On Wheels, looking after elderly friends, volunteering at church and donating to the longest list of nonprofits I’ve ever seen.

Unless you have suffered — served in military combat, lost a loved one, overcome serious illness or job loss — you can’t fully appreciate Thanksgiving. And sooner or later, no one escapes problems.

Happy Thanksgiving.

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