Don’t know if Brett Favre is going to play for the Vikings but if he does Sports Headliners has a few suggestions to help him settle in. Here’s a list of must-do’s for the legendary Mr. Favre who has quarterbacked countless comebacks, willed his teams to victory, and played in all kinds of emotional and physical pain while inspiring millions during an 18 year NFL career that includes two Super Bowls and a record three consecutive league MVP awards.
First, refer to our metropolis as the Twin Cities. We’re very sensitive and politically correct, and even though the Vikings play in Minneapolis be careful about any references to the city. Follow the lead of the local broadcaster who refers to the “Metrodome in the Twin Cities.” Political correctness before accuracy, you know.
Don’t worry about a few media guys who rip you before your plane lands. We’ve been hoping they would go away for years, or at least take a couple of journalism classes to learn about fairness, objectivity and civility.
Presuming you and the Vikings win the season opener on September 13 at Cleveland, be prepared to become more popular than the Mall of America. We have a huge bandwagon in this town for our heroes and there won’t be enough room for all who come on board by September 13. (Note: many travel on one week passes).
Never publicly defend coach Brad Childress. The cocktail fueled Vikings fandom knows Chili (as they like to call him) can’t coach. If the Vikings lose, the blame is on the coaches, not the players.
Never intimate that Tarvaris Jackson isn’t a talented NFL quarterback. I suspect a few of your more biased teammates think he’s earned starting status. Wink, wink.
If you are still capable of miracles and lead the Vikings to the Super Bowl, don’t expect to win. The Super Bowl record is perfect, 0-4. Keeping it that way helps many Minnesotans feel sorry for themselves.
Don’t go deer hunting in Wisconsin this fall. Some Packers’ fan, crushed by your decision to play for the Vikings, might “mistake” you for a buck.
Be sure to drink a Minnesota brewed beer like Grain Belt, and keep the Lienenkugel back home in Mississippi. And we apologize in advance for limited options on two of your faves, okra and crawfish.
Never drive on 494 if you expect to get anywhere on time. When you drive downtown be assured that not every street is closed for construction.
Finally this: even though the cynics are too far into the dark side to realize the truth, others know the reason you’re here at 39 with nothing left to prove is because you love football. To that we say, “Have fun.”
And thanks for signing on (hopefully).