Don’t know if Brett Favre is going to play for the Vikings but if he does Sports Headliners has a few suggestions to help him settle in.  Here’s a list of must-do’s for the legendary Mr. Favre who has quarterbacked countless comebacks, willed his teams to victory, and played in all kinds of emotional and physical pain while inspiring millions during an 18 year NFL career that includes two Super Bowls and a record three consecutive league MVP awards.

First, refer to our metropolis as the Twin Cities.  We’re very sensitive and politically correct, and even though the Vikings play in Minneapolis be careful about any references to the city.  Follow the lead of the local broadcaster who refers to the “Metrodome in the Twin Cities.”  Political correctness before accuracy, you know.

Don’t worry about a few media guys who rip you before your plane lands.  We’ve been hoping they would go away for years, or at least take a couple of journalism classes to learn about fairness, objectivity and civility.

Presuming you and the Vikings win the season opener on September 13 at Cleveland, be prepared to become more popular than the Mall of America.  We have a huge bandwagon in this town for our heroes and there won’t be enough room for all who come on board by September 13.  (Note: many travel on one week passes).

Never publicly defend coach Brad Childress.  The cocktail fueled Vikings fandom knows Chili (as they like to call him) can’t coach.  If the Vikings lose, the blame is on the coaches, not the players.

Never intimate that Tarvaris Jackson isn’t a talented NFL quarterback.  I suspect a few of your more biased teammates think he’s earned starting status.  Wink, wink.

If you are still capable of miracles and lead the Vikings to the Super Bowl, don’t expect to win.  The Super Bowl record is perfect, 0-4.  Keeping it that way helps many Minnesotans feel sorry for themselves.

Don’t go deer hunting in Wisconsin this fall.  Some Packers’ fan, crushed by your decision to play for the Vikings, might “mistake” you for a buck.

Be sure to drink a Minnesota brewed beer like Grain Belt, and keep the Lienenkugel back home in Mississippi.  And we apologize in advance for limited options on two of your faves, okra and crawfish.

Never drive on 494 if you expect to get anywhere on time.  When you drive downtown be assured that not every street is closed for construction.

Finally this: even though the cynics are too far into the dark side to realize the truth, others know the reason you’re here at 39 with nothing left to prove is because you love football. To that we say, “Have fun.”

And thanks for signing on (hopefully).

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Aroldis Chapman, a Cuban left-hander who defected earlier this summer, likely will be a coveted commodity on baseball’s free agent market during the coming off-season.  Under baseball rules he and his representatives are able to negotiate a contract with any major league team.

Not sure who all will be in pursuit of the 6-3 pitcher who supposedly has thrown his fast ball over 100 miles per hour, but Tony Oliva called him a “hot tamale.” Oliva defected from Cuba about 50 years ago, became an All-Star with the Twins and still works for the organization.  Oliva told Sports Headliners he doesn’t know if the Twins will be trying to sign Chapman, but he offered him some advice.

“If he wants to play in the big leagues, maybe he should take less money but go with the guy (team) that gives him the opportunity to play as soon as possible,” Oliva said.  “Like the Minnesota Twins…Tampa, those kind of places.”

An ESPN The Magazine article earlier this month speculated that Chapman could receive a deal exceeding the $32 million Cuban pitcher and defector Jose Contreras signed in 2002.  That’s a heady neighborhood for a guy who possibly throws harder than almost anyone on the planet, but baseball’s richer clubs most likely will be proactive. Angels’ scouting director Eddie Bane, the former Twins’ pitcher, told the Orange County Register his franchise is interested in Chapman.  https://headlines.ocregister.com/sports/selects-34244-defector-angels.html

Chapman might be ready for the bigs now but there are questions about his control, ability to develop pitches in addition to the fast ball and even his age.  Some reports have his age at 26, not 21.

Age discrepancies among Latin American ball players certainly aren’t unheard of.  Oliva said the “bottom line is if a guy can pitch and throw,” and Chapman’s age shouldn’t deter interest.

Oliva, who knows people in Cuba familiar with Chapman, is concerned, though, about giving so much money to an unproven product.  “This kid is supposed to be a great player, but it’s different pitching in Cuba,” he said.  “What if he don’t make it?”

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A passionate stadium follower, knowledgeable about stadium building here and elsewhere, had this to say about the legislature and funding a new Vikings’ facility:  “I think a deal that’s good for the Vikings and good for Minnesota needs to be reached by the end of next year’s legislative session.  If not…they’ll be the L.A. Vikings in 2012.”

Cornerback Antoine Winfield, who recently signed a contract extension, has been a major contributor during the last three seasons to the Vikings’ NFL-high 15 defensive touchdowns, returning two interceptions and one fumble recovery for scores.  In 2008, he also became the first player in franchise history to return a blocked field goal for a touchdown.

The Wolves hired president of basketball operations David Kahn in late May and already there’s a fire Kahn website.

Seantrel Henderson is rated the No. 1 high school football recruit in the country but that doesn’t mean he will be the best offensive lineman to play for Cretin-Derham Hall.  Matt Birk, Corbin Lacina and Ryan Harris played for the Raiders and went on to the NFL.

Minneapolis native Tim Herron, who hasn’t qualified for next month’s PGA Championship at Hazeltine National Golf Club, had a disappointing 50^th place finish at the recent U.S. Bank Championship in Milwaukee.  His earnings were $9,385.56, according to https://www.golf.co.uk/results/pga/us-bank-championship/2009/index.shtml.  Herron has been playing better at the Canadian Open which is still in play today.

Rick Reilly, perhaps the best sports columnist in America, suggests it’s time for Tiger Woods to nix the tamper tantrums.  A good place to start will be Hazeltine.  https://sports.espn.go.com/espn/columns/story?id=4347419.

Justin Morneau’s “Casino Night” will be from 6 to 10 p.m. on August 13 at International Market Square.  The event provides an opportunity for fans to interact with Twins players over a hand of cards, with proceeds benefiting the Arthritis Foundation North Central Chapter.  Other Twins players expected to attend are Joe Mauer and Michael Cuddyer.  Tickets are $100 each if purchased before July 31, and $125 after.  For more information, visit www.twinsbaseball.comor call 612-33-TWINS.

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